Sheep ~ a game dedicated to John Leech MP

Strange Games has been honoured yet dismayed to receive an e-mail from Liberal MP John Leech's office questioning the safety and suitability of certain games contained in this blog and in the book Strange Games (described by the Sunday Times as the perfect gift for less cerebral family members here...). He feels that they may be dangerous and possibly cause harm to participants and therefore should not be encouraged in any way. So we have decided to give him the honour of a brand new game thought up by myself and Mrs Blister after a couple of glasses of Palma Sherry. The game is called Sheep.
For two or more players in a small closed room. First make sure there are no obstacles in the room. If any irremovable object has any form of edge then smooth it off. If possible pad the walls so that they are as soft as possible (a cheap padding can easily be achieved with unwanted copies of Liberal Party manifestos) Now cover each player in layer upon layer of cotton wool until no possible harm can come to them under any circumstances. If possible the players should be sexually, etnically and demographically as diverse as possible (if this can't be achieved just get two old public school boys) Now...stand the players at opposite ends of the room, blindfold them and have them run towards each other as hard as possible. Many times they will miss and end up carreering into a wall but every so often they will smack headlong into each other. If they want then players can make sheep noises throughout which both adds to the versimilitude and aids location. The last person standing wins.