Dwile Flonking - curbed by the council

Strange Games receives more worrying news about the state of this country's unusual country pursuits. First it was the annual Cheese Rolling event at Coppers Hill which was cancelled due to a combination of health and safety concerns and worries about chaos on the roads.
Now the humourless idiots that are in charge at North Norfolk Council have curbed the essential part of the grand pub game Dwile Flonking.

Dwile flonking traditionally involves players using a pole to hurl rags at opponents, then downing beer quickly as a penalty for missing... and it is this drinking of a pint of beer at speed that has upset the councillors so much. A council spokesman said, "It is now against the law to promote 'speed drinking', which is one of the elements of dwile flonking" And so it looks like regular games will have the beer forfeit replaced by one involving downing a soft drink. Pathetic!
A reminder of the rules of this marvellous game:
Resurrected in the late 1960’s Dwile Flonking (or Dwyle Flunking) is an outdoor pub game of dubious origin but startling originality. Centred around the villages of Bungay and Beccles in Suffolk this is a bizarre game made even more unusual by its incredible array of yokel terminology.
The game requires two teams formed of twelve players each. One team forms a circle (called the Girter). A member of the opposing team takes his turn to stand in the middle of the Girter and be the Flonker. The Flonker carries a 2-3 foot long stick (or Driveller) on the end of which is a beer sodden sponge (or dwile). As the Girter members dance around him the Flonker must flonk his dwile using his Driveller to try and hit a member of the Girter. He has two attempts and scores as follows:

Hit on the head (a Wanton) 3 points
Hit on the body (a Marther) 2 points
Hit on the leg (a Ripple) 1 point
Miss totally (a Swadger) 0 points, plus the poor Flonker must now, as a forfeit, quickly drink a pint of ale. A process which for some reason has no rustic alternative name in the yokel-lexicon.

Trouser Ferret

Another game that is as bizarre as its name suggests is Trouser Ferret. This game has been sent in by Strange Games reader Brian Tiffin.
Brian writes: Trouser Ferret as well as a euphemism is an odd indoor game that is a home made human version of the game that is sometimes seen at village fetes: Bash the Rat. In that game players attempt to hit with a baseball bat a cuddly rat that is dropped through a drainpipe. In Trouser Ferret players are teamed up in twos. One player wears knee length baggy shorts which have a hole in the lining of one pocket (already this game is sounding odd). With a hand in this pocket the player lets go of the 'ferret' (a sock filled with weights or sand would do) which then falls inside his shorts to appear outside at knee level. It is the job of his teammate to smash the ferret against his friends leg between the knee and the ankle using a stick. No signals can be exchanged between players about when the ferret is to be released and the stick wielding player must hold it at least 30cm away from the leg. After 10 attempts it is another teams turn to wear the ferret shorts and play continues.
Thanks Brian...if you have any games that you think Strange Games readers would like to hear about then email: montegue_blister@hotmail.co.uk

Crotch Ball

Staying in the same sort of area as previous post P-Ball is the charming game of Crotch Ball. Just sit down on the floor a few yards from your opponent, legs apart, and aim your powerball. It's a sort of slightly gentler version of the famed pain-game rochambeau.

P Balls

At Strange Games we normally only cover games that require little or no equipment; games that minimise brain usage and maximise pain thresholds. But we will make an exception for P Ball. A P-Ball is ping pong sized ball of toilet freshener that is designed to give men some fun in the toilet while at the same time making them aware of male cancer - particularly prostate cancer. Simply pop the ball into your urinal and direct your urine at it and try and make it dissolve as quickly as possible. A decreased flow of wee means the double blow of the game taking longer to complete and the possibility that you've spotted a disease at its early stages. In South Africa the ball is sold by Cansa to raise money for charity. As it says on the box, 'You need balls to play this gam' ...although it is probably one you will play on your own rather than invite friend 'round. Many thanks for Yehuda (who runs a brilliant board game blog here) for bringing the P-Ball to the attention of Strange Games

If you play any strange games with your we then contact us: montegue_blister@hotmail.co.uk