Dwile Flonking - curbed by the council

Strange Games receives more worrying news about the state of this country's unusual country pursuits. First it was the annual Cheese Rolling event at Coppers Hill which was cancelled due to a combination of health and safety concerns and worries about chaos on the roads.
Now the humourless idiots that are in charge at North Norfolk Council have curbed the essential part of the grand pub game Dwile Flonking.

Dwile flonking traditionally involves players using a pole to hurl rags at opponents, then downing beer quickly as a penalty for missing... and it is this drinking of a pint of beer at speed that has upset the councillors so much. A council spokesman said, "It is now against the law to promote 'speed drinking', which is one of the elements of dwile flonking" And so it looks like regular games will have the beer forfeit replaced by one involving downing a soft drink. Pathetic!
A reminder of the rules of this marvellous game:
Resurrected in the late 1960’s Dwile Flonking (or Dwyle Flunking) is an outdoor pub game of dubious origin but startling originality. Centred around the villages of Bungay and Beccles in Suffolk this is a bizarre game made even more unusual by its incredible array of yokel terminology.
The game requires two teams formed of twelve players each. One team forms a circle (called the Girter). A member of the opposing team takes his turn to stand in the middle of the Girter and be the Flonker. The Flonker carries a 2-3 foot long stick (or Driveller) on the end of which is a beer sodden sponge (or dwile). As the Girter members dance around him the Flonker must flonk his dwile using his Driveller to try and hit a member of the Girter. He has two attempts and scores as follows:

Hit on the head (a Wanton) 3 points
Hit on the body (a Marther) 2 points
Hit on the leg (a Ripple) 1 point
Miss totally (a Swadger) 0 points, plus the poor Flonker must now, as a forfeit, quickly drink a pint of ale. A process which for some reason has no rustic alternative name in the yokel-lexicon.

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