Dwile Flonking - curbed by the council

Strange Games receives more worrying news about the state of this country's unusual country pursuits. First it was the annual Cheese Rolling event at Coppers Hill which was cancelled due to a combination of health and safety concerns and worries about chaos on the roads.
Now the humourless idiots that are in charge at North Norfolk Council have curbed the essential part of the grand pub game Dwile Flonking.

Dwile flonking traditionally involves players using a pole to hurl rags at opponents, then downing beer quickly as a penalty for missing... and it is this drinking of a pint of beer at speed that has upset the councillors so much. A council spokesman said, "It is now against the law to promote 'speed drinking', which is one of the elements of dwile flonking" And so it looks like regular games will have the beer forfeit replaced by one involving downing a soft drink. Pathetic!
A reminder of the rules of this marvellous game:
Resurrected in the late 1960’s Dwile Flonking (or Dwyle Flunking) is an outdoor pub game of dubious origin but startling originality. Centred around the villages of Bungay and Beccles in Suffolk this is a bizarre game made even more unusual by its incredible array of yokel terminology.
The game requires two teams formed of twelve players each. One team forms a circle (called the Girter). A member of the opposing team takes his turn to stand in the middle of the Girter and be the Flonker. The Flonker carries a 2-3 foot long stick (or Driveller) on the end of which is a beer sodden sponge (or dwile). As the Girter members dance around him the Flonker must flonk his dwile using his Driveller to try and hit a member of the Girter. He has two attempts and scores as follows:

Hit on the head (a Wanton) 3 points
Hit on the body (a Marther) 2 points
Hit on the leg (a Ripple) 1 point Miss totally (a Swadger) 0 points, plus the poor Flonker must now, as a forfeit, quickly drink a pint of ale. A process which for some reason has no rustic alternative name in the yokel-lexicon.

Trouser Ferret

Another game that is as bizarre as its name suggests is Trouser Ferret. This game has been sent in by Strange Games reader Brian Tiffin.
Brian writes: Trouser Ferret as well as a euphemism is an odd indoor game that is a home made human version of the game that is sometimes seen at village fetes: Bash the Rat. In that game players attempt to hit with a baseball bat a cuddly rat that is dropped through a drainpipe. In Trouser Ferret players are teamed up in twos. One player wears knee length baggy shorts which have a hole in the lining of one pocket (already this game is sounding odd). With a hand in this pocket the player lets go of the 'ferret' (a sock filled with weights or sand would do) which then falls inside his shorts to appear outside at knee level. It is the job of his teammate to smash the ferret against his friends leg between the knee and the ankle using a stick. No signals can be exchanged between players about when the ferret is to be released and the stick wielding player must hold it at least 30cm away from the leg. After 10 attempts it is another teams turn to wear the ferret shorts and play continues.
Thanks Brian...if you have any games that you think Strange Games readers would like to hear about then email: montegue_blister@hotmail.co.uk

Crotch Ball

Staying in the same sort of area as previous post P-Ball is the charming game of Crotch Ball. Just sit down on the floor a few yards from your opponent, legs apart, and aim your powerball. It's a sort of slightly gentler version of the famed pain-game rochambeau.

P Balls

At Strange Games we normally only cover games that require little or no equipment; games that minimise brain usage and maximise pain thresholds. But we will make an exception for P Ball. A P-Ball is ping pong sized ball of toilet freshener that is designed to give men some fun in the toilet while at the same time making them aware of male cancer - particularly prostate cancer. Simply pop the ball into your urinal and direct your urine at it and try and make it dissolve as quickly as possible. A decreased flow of wee means the double blow of the game taking longer to complete and the possibility that you've spotted a disease at its early stages. In South Africa the ball is sold by Cansa to raise money for charity. As it says on the box, 'You need balls to play this gam' ...although it is probably one you will play on your own rather than invite friend 'round. Many thanks for Yehuda (who runs a brilliant board game blog here) for bringing the P-Ball to the attention of Strange Games

If you play any strange games with your we then contact us: montegue_blister@hotmail.co.uk

Aqua Chess

The fine modern game of Chess Boxing has been in the news recently leading to probably futile hopes of even more newly combined sports such as Backgammon Wrestling or Tiddlywinks Kickboxing. There are, however, a couple of relatively undiscovered combinations of Chess and Watersports.
First up is Scuba Chess.
Not that far removed from a normal game of chess except you play with lead weighted pieces and the time to complete the game is limited by the capacity of your air tank.

Then there is Aqua Chess - a more novel approach to the art of sports combining.

Both players stand in the water at one end of a swimming pool with a chess board on the edge. The first player makes their opening move then sets off down the pool. When they are exactly at the other end then their opponent makes a move and sets off swimming too. Player one has now returned to the board and has to make his second move – quickly – because if they are caught in the pool then they lose. Players win either by winning the chess match or by catching up with the other player in the pool. A game both physically and mentally exhausting. It is important that both players should be evenly matched swimmers to make the game as interesting as possible.

Whistle for Your Nipple

After the last post concerning the violent playground game of Jam Sandwiches Strange Games has been inundated by an e-mail. The correspondence, from Steve 'Jumper' Brand, concerns a tortuous playground game presumably only played by boys. Steve writes:
Whistle For Your Nipple is a pointless schoolyard torture game that has almost no elements that make up a normal game but one big one that relates to pain. One player/joker stealthily approaches their victim, grasps their nipple through their school shirt and shouts out, “Whistle for you nipple”. The idea, if it can even be called that, is that the victim must put their lips together and whistle and as soon as they manage to do this then the attacker will relent in their vice-like finger grip of their sensitive body part. Obviously it is very hard, if not impossible, to whistle whilst someone is doing this to you (try it now if you don't believe me) and so the game often ends with confusion swiftly followed by a scream of startled pain, and then a fight.

If you've played something more stupid than this then e-mail:montegue_blister@hotmail.co.uk

Jam Sandwiches

Another violent playground game from Strange Games contributor Duncan Flann. In his words: Jam Sandwiches is a simple, brutal and totally unnecessary playground game of violent punishment. It is named after the popular tea-time snack and just like the ingredients required to make a Jam Sandwich needs a couple of slices of bread and some jam, although in human form. The slices of bread are formed by the two burly lads and the 'jam' is an unaware victim in the school yard. The slices approach this player from opposite directions of the schoolyard at the same time.

Their aim is to create the perfect jam sandwich by hitting (with their stomach and bodies) the 'filling' at exactly the same time. This results in anger, some pain and often a bewildered wilting to the schoolyard floor by the squished 'jam' and occasionally the 'slices of bread'.

Of course the jam player can, if they are quick witted and agile enough, realise what is about to happen and dive out of the way at the very last moment, resulting in the breads smashing headfirst into one another and being toasted.
If you play odd games then contact me: montegue_blister@hotmail.co.uk and tell me all about it...if you want

Bang!

Bang (it may have many other names) is a children's party game that needs lots of concentration, fast reactions and gun play.
Everyone forms a circle with one gun toting player standing alone in the middle. This player spins around, arms extended with an imaginary gun in their hands. Without warning they point this gun at one player in the circle and shout, 'BANG'. On being shot this player rapidly crouches down which means the the two players that are standing on either side of them must raise their own hands in a gun shape and try and shoot (shout BANG) each other first. The player that achieves this first remains in the game, the other player collapses to the floor (dead) and plays no further part in the game. The original player to be targeted also (bizarrely) returns to the game. The player in the centre then begins another round and the game continues until there a winner is found.